December 17 – Lesson Learned (Reverb10 project)

December 17 – Lesson Learned
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
(Author: Tara Weaver)

This year, wow. I have learned that wishful thinking avails nothing when left un-acted upon except disappointment and frustration.
Man oh man the road to personal hell is paved with good intentions. We damage ourselves so with unmade beds. It eats away at self-esteem to desire life to be a way it is not, especially when it is within our grasp. Some of us are quite damages and some of us do not know how to set and achieve goals, or even the specific steps to specific goals.  Gert help! Find out! Ask!

Sam's advice: There is no shame in finding out you have limitations, or lack. There is terrible anguish in not doing something about it.Awareness can be invigorating, identifying the source of some small irritation or angst, but doing nothing about it...that is suffering. I once heard a motivational speaker say (and i paraphrase), "Listen! At the end of your life you are very likely going to suffer, there is no need for practice!"

December 16 – Friendship (Reverb10 project)

December 16 – Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)

Hmmm. Well there were a few, I think. One friend taught me that even friendships may not be as valuable as principal. Of course this depends on the importance of the principal versus the friend but there are some things where "Principals before personalities" is just not negotiable. While no man is an island (which I suspect is getting less and less true), friends that require of you to alter those self-imposed morals for the sake of their approval and company are not worth it, no matter how much you enjoyed them. Sometimes the lesson that something is not okay, even when your friendship may be their only immediate consequence, is the most important thing. You may be the only person in a a persons life willing to tell that person the truth.Even if you are wrong (for them), it is healthy for people to take pause and consider their actions. If you are wrong, a real friend will accept an apology.

Other friends have taught me that intimacy does not equal proximity. As my friends migrate - technology keeps us close. Out of sight is out of mind and it takes an extra effort but worth it. Sometimes the text or message from a friend devoid of all the accoutrement can be more real, or at least thoughtful. While we move faster and faster in our world. this opportunity to stop and really think about a response you are about to make or have just read adds depth and intimacy to the process.

Of course there are those who sudden and not so suddenly leave us - gone forever in all but heart, memory and character (the way they change us by being in our lives), who absolutely teach us to love today for its all that matters, and over to soon.

Sam's advice: Love true and now. Everyone will be a memory some day including us.  

December 15 – 5 Minutes (Reverb10 project)

December 15 – 5 Minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
(Author: Patti Digh)

Sheesh.
Friends lost.
Work done.
Love had.

Sam's advice: Never forget. Maybe don't keep reminding yourself (resentments), but live and learn and enjoy the wisdom. 

December 14 – Appreciate (Reverb10 project)

December 14 – Appreciate
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
(Author: Victoria Klein)

Devotion. 

The life of this kitty-cat...she taught me so much. she was devoted to me and I to her. She was sincerely my constant companion and we relied on one another. She was always in the room with me when I was home. Always. She was patient and gentle sweet and wise. It is ridiculous that people how anthropomorphizing as something unreal when it comes to pets and emotions. 

It was only recently that a study was finally performed and we now now (go figure) that fish DO experience pain. The fact that they were not bashing their heads into coral for yucks, this was not enough. A study needed to be performed. Until then the accepted theory was they did not feel pain. Could it be that this was to profound for we humans to accept in order to maintain distance and responsibility for the way we treat. and exploit wildlife at every opportunity?

Of course animals feel emotions and express them, why they feel the ones they feel is as personal and varied to them as it is to us. Define love in a way that is acceptable to us all! Good luck with that. 

Nona was my dear friend. She is gone now. She is in my heart and experience and thus part of me who will remain part of some people who will remain part of others and we are all eternal in our ripples cast upon this great pond of life.

Nona was my teacher and life coach. She would nudge me away from work when I was stressed. Climb onto the keyboard and put her little hands on my chest and literally push me back in my seat. Crawl onto my chest and purr me into relaxation.

We were devoted. Me to her care and she to mine. 

I feel so deeply saddened by her death and gladdened by her life, feelings deepened by devotion. 

Sam's advice: Love the one you're with (and the rest too).

December 13 – Action (Reverb10 project)

December 13 – Action
When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
(Author: Scott Belsky)

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

"You sound like a chronic!" my mother would say. She was referring to a chronic complainer. How demoralizing it is to be aware and unable to change. "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional." Yet another little reminder that speaks to the agony of inertia. Man what a drag to know you need to lose weight but keep on eating. Save money, but keep on spending. It just erodes away at your self esteem if not more. It is deeply painful to not be able to launch. What does one do? Start. Just start. Don't look to the end - focus on the beginning. A friend tells me if you do something for 21 days you have a new habit. I think it is somewhere closer to 90 but spending much time on wondering is counterproductive to the START.

Thinking about it is a beginning. Vocalizing it is yet another step. Just doing these things are profoundly powerful. Not following up with action is supremely frustrating. How to start? Any means necessary!

My aspiration is t lose some damn weight. I am not waiting until the magical day. The first of the year is not as powerful as right now. Putting things off until later, even with the best intentions is reiterating to my psyche that I am not ready! It has never worked. Now is all we have.

I have the supplies in the house - ingredients to start. This morning I am making myself a healthy breakfast. Juicing some  carrots celery and cucumber and maybe later some steel-cut oats.

Sam's advice: There really is no better time than the present. Shit or get off the pot. Accept where you are and enjoy it or GET ON WITH IT! If i put half the time into DOING something (make that anything) about it (whatever it is...) as I do complaining, worrying and beating myself up about not doing something, these burdens would be memories. 

December 12 – Body Integration (Reverb10 project)

December 12 – Body Integration
This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
(Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Meditation is a wonderful thing. I perform a meditation routine based on White Dragon - the elemental poses corresponding to earth, air, fire and water. It is a lovely path to meditation. It distracts my mind from the gerbil wheel long enough to move it to a quiet place where meditation happens. Very deliberate movement and posture while breathing and thinking less and less leads to a place where I am heavy in body and light in mind and centered.

Sam's advice: practice quieting the mind. Find what works for you, experiment. It will be obvious when you have found a successful means to meditate.

December 11 - Things (Reverb10 project)

December 11 - Things
Author: Sam Davidson

Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Wow. Off the top of my big old head:

1. Clutter: To much stuff! I have so much laundry and so much dishes all the time because we have to many clothes and to many dishes!
   -- Sam's Advice: Time to donate! There is a terrific shelter here and they feed hundreds everyday off of reusable donated dishes etc. I am boxing all but service for 8 up and out. Clothes to. I am going to determine how much of each thing I need in a wardrobe them sent the still usefull stuff out into the world. 
2. Weight: Eat too much - have to much.
   -- Sam's advice: I am committing to kitchen food. Stuff I make and I think this problem will take care of itself. And no food in 2011 from anything that has a drive-through! 
3. Regret: My regrets lay firmly in the want to/have not column. Good intentions and all that rubbish. Most of the things on this list I suspect will be things left undone that are meant to free up my life. Treats not torture. Less regret. It only causes shame and remorse and eats erodes your self-esteem.
   -- Sam's advice: Get on it or get over it! 
4. Rhetoric:  I got very fired up about politics and such in the 08 presidential elections and now I want to scale back and have efficient reliable sources of info.
   -- Sam's Advice: I am going to get my news from reliable sources. And less of it.No more pundits. 
5. Waste: I think waste-free like perfection is a nice goal. There are so many opportunities to scale back. So few things need to be "disposable." When did we all forget that disposable means in a way useless, worthless?
   -- Sam's advice: Why would we want to fill our life with disposables? Real towels, napkins, etc. WOO! 
6. Wasted time: I shall use my most valuable resource wisely. Moderate and such. Not lull away mad hours looking at useless data bits on a screen. I want to nourish my mind and soul more.
   -- Sam's advice: Moderation. Set timers if you have to but stop wasting your life away!  
7. Sugar: Less. Much less.
   -- Sam's advice: Cook more shop less - be prepared and safe guard the pantry!
8. Meat: Less. Much less. It makes me feel yucky
   -- Sam's advice: learn how to can and pickle and such, in the much expanded garden. Be sure to have lots of fresh produce about.
9. Anger: Such an odd little fellow Anger. He pretends to be a friend that he will somehow protect or comfort you, but he just leaves you sore and tired and dirty - Like a bad booty-call.
   -- Sam's advice: For starters: Use cruise control and stay out of the passing lane.  
10. Isolation: Not lovely alone-time. I am good company but I want less hiding, when the blues hit. Makes a bad thing well worse.
    -- Sam's advice: Tell on myself. Let people know where you are before you are there so long you no longer can! Have a buddy system. Someone who can call you on isolation if they have not heard from you in a specified amount of time and return the favor by helping them with something they struggle with! 
    
11. Procrastination: Putting stuff off just makes it loom ever larger. Get it over with! Whether its a school assignment or taking the can tot he curb, whatever!
    -- Sam's advice: Just effin' do it!