December 17 – Lesson Learned (Reverb10 project)

December 17 – Lesson Learned
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
(Author: Tara Weaver)

This year, wow. I have learned that wishful thinking avails nothing when left un-acted upon except disappointment and frustration.
Man oh man the road to personal hell is paved with good intentions. We damage ourselves so with unmade beds. It eats away at self-esteem to desire life to be a way it is not, especially when it is within our grasp. Some of us are quite damages and some of us do not know how to set and achieve goals, or even the specific steps to specific goals.  Gert help! Find out! Ask!

Sam's advice: There is no shame in finding out you have limitations, or lack. There is terrible anguish in not doing something about it.Awareness can be invigorating, identifying the source of some small irritation or angst, but doing nothing about it...that is suffering. I once heard a motivational speaker say (and i paraphrase), "Listen! At the end of your life you are very likely going to suffer, there is no need for practice!"

December 16 – Friendship (Reverb10 project)

December 16 – Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)

Hmmm. Well there were a few, I think. One friend taught me that even friendships may not be as valuable as principal. Of course this depends on the importance of the principal versus the friend but there are some things where "Principals before personalities" is just not negotiable. While no man is an island (which I suspect is getting less and less true), friends that require of you to alter those self-imposed morals for the sake of their approval and company are not worth it, no matter how much you enjoyed them. Sometimes the lesson that something is not okay, even when your friendship may be their only immediate consequence, is the most important thing. You may be the only person in a a persons life willing to tell that person the truth.Even if you are wrong (for them), it is healthy for people to take pause and consider their actions. If you are wrong, a real friend will accept an apology.

Other friends have taught me that intimacy does not equal proximity. As my friends migrate - technology keeps us close. Out of sight is out of mind and it takes an extra effort but worth it. Sometimes the text or message from a friend devoid of all the accoutrement can be more real, or at least thoughtful. While we move faster and faster in our world. this opportunity to stop and really think about a response you are about to make or have just read adds depth and intimacy to the process.

Of course there are those who sudden and not so suddenly leave us - gone forever in all but heart, memory and character (the way they change us by being in our lives), who absolutely teach us to love today for its all that matters, and over to soon.

Sam's advice: Love true and now. Everyone will be a memory some day including us.  

December 15 – 5 Minutes (Reverb10 project)

December 15 – 5 Minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
(Author: Patti Digh)

Sheesh.
Friends lost.
Work done.
Love had.

Sam's advice: Never forget. Maybe don't keep reminding yourself (resentments), but live and learn and enjoy the wisdom. 

December 14 – Appreciate (Reverb10 project)

December 14 – Appreciate
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
(Author: Victoria Klein)

Devotion. 

The life of this kitty-cat...she taught me so much. she was devoted to me and I to her. She was sincerely my constant companion and we relied on one another. She was always in the room with me when I was home. Always. She was patient and gentle sweet and wise. It is ridiculous that people how anthropomorphizing as something unreal when it comes to pets and emotions. 

It was only recently that a study was finally performed and we now now (go figure) that fish DO experience pain. The fact that they were not bashing their heads into coral for yucks, this was not enough. A study needed to be performed. Until then the accepted theory was they did not feel pain. Could it be that this was to profound for we humans to accept in order to maintain distance and responsibility for the way we treat. and exploit wildlife at every opportunity?

Of course animals feel emotions and express them, why they feel the ones they feel is as personal and varied to them as it is to us. Define love in a way that is acceptable to us all! Good luck with that. 

Nona was my dear friend. She is gone now. She is in my heart and experience and thus part of me who will remain part of some people who will remain part of others and we are all eternal in our ripples cast upon this great pond of life.

Nona was my teacher and life coach. She would nudge me away from work when I was stressed. Climb onto the keyboard and put her little hands on my chest and literally push me back in my seat. Crawl onto my chest and purr me into relaxation.

We were devoted. Me to her care and she to mine. 

I feel so deeply saddened by her death and gladdened by her life, feelings deepened by devotion. 

Sam's advice: Love the one you're with (and the rest too).

December 13 – Action (Reverb10 project)

December 13 – Action
When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
(Author: Scott Belsky)

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

"You sound like a chronic!" my mother would say. She was referring to a chronic complainer. How demoralizing it is to be aware and unable to change. "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional." Yet another little reminder that speaks to the agony of inertia. Man what a drag to know you need to lose weight but keep on eating. Save money, but keep on spending. It just erodes away at your self esteem if not more. It is deeply painful to not be able to launch. What does one do? Start. Just start. Don't look to the end - focus on the beginning. A friend tells me if you do something for 21 days you have a new habit. I think it is somewhere closer to 90 but spending much time on wondering is counterproductive to the START.

Thinking about it is a beginning. Vocalizing it is yet another step. Just doing these things are profoundly powerful. Not following up with action is supremely frustrating. How to start? Any means necessary!

My aspiration is t lose some damn weight. I am not waiting until the magical day. The first of the year is not as powerful as right now. Putting things off until later, even with the best intentions is reiterating to my psyche that I am not ready! It has never worked. Now is all we have.

I have the supplies in the house - ingredients to start. This morning I am making myself a healthy breakfast. Juicing some  carrots celery and cucumber and maybe later some steel-cut oats.

Sam's advice: There really is no better time than the present. Shit or get off the pot. Accept where you are and enjoy it or GET ON WITH IT! If i put half the time into DOING something (make that anything) about it (whatever it is...) as I do complaining, worrying and beating myself up about not doing something, these burdens would be memories. 

December 12 – Body Integration (Reverb10 project)

December 12 – Body Integration
This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
(Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Meditation is a wonderful thing. I perform a meditation routine based on White Dragon - the elemental poses corresponding to earth, air, fire and water. It is a lovely path to meditation. It distracts my mind from the gerbil wheel long enough to move it to a quiet place where meditation happens. Very deliberate movement and posture while breathing and thinking less and less leads to a place where I am heavy in body and light in mind and centered.

Sam's advice: practice quieting the mind. Find what works for you, experiment. It will be obvious when you have found a successful means to meditate.

December 11 - Things (Reverb10 project)

December 11 - Things
Author: Sam Davidson

Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Wow. Off the top of my big old head:

1. Clutter: To much stuff! I have so much laundry and so much dishes all the time because we have to many clothes and to many dishes!
   -- Sam's Advice: Time to donate! There is a terrific shelter here and they feed hundreds everyday off of reusable donated dishes etc. I am boxing all but service for 8 up and out. Clothes to. I am going to determine how much of each thing I need in a wardrobe them sent the still usefull stuff out into the world. 
2. Weight: Eat too much - have to much.
   -- Sam's advice: I am committing to kitchen food. Stuff I make and I think this problem will take care of itself. And no food in 2011 from anything that has a drive-through! 
3. Regret: My regrets lay firmly in the want to/have not column. Good intentions and all that rubbish. Most of the things on this list I suspect will be things left undone that are meant to free up my life. Treats not torture. Less regret. It only causes shame and remorse and eats erodes your self-esteem.
   -- Sam's advice: Get on it or get over it! 
4. Rhetoric:  I got very fired up about politics and such in the 08 presidential elections and now I want to scale back and have efficient reliable sources of info.
   -- Sam's Advice: I am going to get my news from reliable sources. And less of it.No more pundits. 
5. Waste: I think waste-free like perfection is a nice goal. There are so many opportunities to scale back. So few things need to be "disposable." When did we all forget that disposable means in a way useless, worthless?
   -- Sam's advice: Why would we want to fill our life with disposables? Real towels, napkins, etc. WOO! 
6. Wasted time: I shall use my most valuable resource wisely. Moderate and such. Not lull away mad hours looking at useless data bits on a screen. I want to nourish my mind and soul more.
   -- Sam's advice: Moderation. Set timers if you have to but stop wasting your life away!  
7. Sugar: Less. Much less.
   -- Sam's advice: Cook more shop less - be prepared and safe guard the pantry!
8. Meat: Less. Much less. It makes me feel yucky
   -- Sam's advice: learn how to can and pickle and such, in the much expanded garden. Be sure to have lots of fresh produce about.
9. Anger: Such an odd little fellow Anger. He pretends to be a friend that he will somehow protect or comfort you, but he just leaves you sore and tired and dirty - Like a bad booty-call.
   -- Sam's advice: For starters: Use cruise control and stay out of the passing lane.  
10. Isolation: Not lovely alone-time. I am good company but I want less hiding, when the blues hit. Makes a bad thing well worse.
    -- Sam's advice: Tell on myself. Let people know where you are before you are there so long you no longer can! Have a buddy system. Someone who can call you on isolation if they have not heard from you in a specified amount of time and return the favor by helping them with something they struggle with! 
    
11. Procrastination: Putting stuff off just makes it loom ever larger. Get it over with! Whether its a school assignment or taking the can tot he curb, whatever!
    -- Sam's advice: Just effin' do it!

December 10 – Wisdom (Reverb10 project)

December 10 – Wisdom
Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
(Author: Susannah Conway)

The best decision I have made is to enroll in school. I think even after I get my degree I may just continue a class a semester just to have at it.

After being job eliminated I felt really helpless. This college thing has been very empowering at my age. Turns out I have plenty left to learn. Which is such a relief because believe me, it is dead dull to know everything!

Sam's advice: "Have a nice day and learn me something" (Mom said this to me every single morning when I would leave for school. Smart)

December 9 – Party (Reverb10 project)

December 9 – Party
Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
(Author: Shauna Reid)

2010 was a slow year for socializing. Don't know many folks in our new area yet and we're old and married. However we did have a couple of bookclub meetings that were all good discussion and laughs. Party means interact. I want to do more human interfacing and less cyber this coming year. Make some new friends and memories.

We did get to a fantastic concert by the University's music school. Great tip: Check out local colleges for student performances. By the time ya hit university age you are usually pretty good in your game and make for some great and economical entertainment. Besides the bigger the audience for these kids the better and they are trying harder than any cynical been there done that commercial acts you'll see! 

Sam's advice: Rip off the ROOF! Or at least enjoy some delicious appetizers and good conversation! Host a shindig! Stop waiting for an invite. Make your home the place people have fond memories.

December 8 – Beautifully Different. (Reverb10 project)

December 8 – Beautifully Different.
Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
(Author: Karen Walrond)

Oh hell no. LOL!  What makes me different and beautiful? I do dance to my own drummer that's for sure! More of a punk-rock Oompah band but whatever. I have commuted to being myself. I say what I mean and I mean what I say and I invite anyone in my sphere to do the same. I am on occasion funny, most everything is mock-able or absurd so how could it not be funny? My SO tells me the world turns into a big loony-tune cartoon once it travels to my brain. Which it does, that or some apocalyptic nightmare. One or the other. Either way I enjoy it and poke fun at it.
Beautiful: Deep down I want us all to be happy, and safe, and comfortable. I even try to contribute to that goal now and then. Hidden in this blog I hope will be such contributions.

Sam's advice: You are beautiful! Self-centered as all hell, if you worry about it much, but welcome to the club. Now get over it and start enjoying it! If you do however, find you are ugly, it is easily corrected - be nice to someone.

December 7 – Community. (Reverb10 project)

December 7 – Community.
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
(Author: Cali Harris)

2010 - I like the idea of academia and the community of it. Smart people getting together and thinking and talking about stuff. I took an English Comp class with a fantastic professor, author and poet Karen Schubert (Google her and the poem Wisconsin). The class read profile "The Solist" by Steve Lopez. Over the semester it sparked really interesting discussions about rhetoric, media, government, poverty, mental health and lots of big questions. All of this was done sans-rhetoric at the insistence of the professor and the discussions were really invigorating and thoughtful. It gave me hope for mankind seeing with such little prodding how much intelligence was in the minds of these young people. 

Sam's advice: Think! And read! Maybe even more that listen and observe do some frigging thinking before we are all peasants again! Quit letting Glenn Beck and any other puppet for the greedy do your thinking for you! Read!

December 6 – Make. (Reverb10 project)

December 6 – Make.
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
(Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Peace! I'd like to make peace. It sounds all hippie-whack-s-do but I do believe that our individual states of minds create the global conscience. Besides, Kranky though I may claim I prefer it as shtick as opposed to my real true self. Kranky is a fun place to visit but...
Materials needed for peace:

• 6 hours nightly sleep at lease
• Nourishing food (from my kitchen!)
• Some prayer or meditation, that kinda thing - soulful reflection and such daily! 
• Some damn exercise. SERIOUSLY 
• Hahas and lots of them
• Accomplishment (get some shyte done on a daily basis) 
• Help someone now and then 
• Creative endeavoring
• Sex (yeah I said it)

Above is a basic recipe and should be seasoned to taste.

Sam's advice: Ya cant take all the time. If all you do is work and consume then we are all screwed, add something to the global mix! MAKE SOMETHING! 

PS: Last thing I made was an A in English Comp YAY! 

December 5 – Let Go. (Reverb10 project)

December 5 – Let Go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
(Author: Alice Bradley)

My family: They are so hard on themselves and choose the toughest options! I Lovingly ("ahem") call them the Springer Show. They crazy! And not always in the Oh those crazy so-and-so's hahah crazy way, but for real dysfunctional harmful ways, but it is what it is. 
It's tough when the people you love refuse to step out of harms way even when you offer solutions and help and time and tears and stuff. So what's left to do? let it go. Even when they ask, let it go. Even when they cal crying, let it go. Even when things get worse, and they always do...let.it.go.

Sam's advice: Couple of things today:

• Adult people are pretty much just as happy or miserable as they decide to be! 
• You cannot help someone who wont help themselves. 
• You can never tell anyone anything about their life then they haven't already told themselves when they lay down at night and the mind races with their realities.
• When you ask...LISTEN!
• Listen is defined as trying the damn adivse you have asked 
• OR DON'T ASK! You just upset people.  
• Caveat: ask anyway - never give up.

December 4 – Wonder. (Reverb10 project)

December 4 – Wonder.
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
(Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Learned to learn. I gave myself permission to be stupid this year, and be a nerd. I sit in the front of the class. I ask everything I think of and I listen to the answers. Most of us run around as kids and adults pretending like we have it all together. Afraid someone might find out we are scared or insecure! How different would the story have been if the nekkid emperor shook his ass at the crowd, shared a good laugh with everyone, posted that crap on YouTube and adopted the kid for calling him on his shit?
 
Sam's advice: Drop your guard, Take a punch or two! Stuff heals.

December 3 – Moment. (Reverb10 Project)

December 3 – Moment.
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
(Author: Ali Edwards)

Orientation: To say I am a non-traditional student is an understatement. How non-traditional is none of your damn business

I was "job-eliminated last December and months of unsuccessful hunting finally resulted in an "Uncle" moment. You know like when you were a kid and someone had you in a head lock and would not let go until you said the magical (and nonsensical) release word: UNCLE! So I said "uncle" and became what I am sure is the oldest freshman at our local university.

To say all of orientation was the most enlivening experience of my year would be reason enough to commit myself. Much of it was snoresville. There was this moment though. I was sitting in this auditorium looking at this kid reading his orientation material when I felt the page turn.

The chairs are too small and to hard for comfort. The little desk-flap that is attached to each of them is ridiculous! My cell phone looks big sitting on it. Turns out his name is Alex. I met him later in a class. But he is sitting there, behind people I assume are his parents. He's a handsome kid. Starving-indie-type. Far too cool to sit with the parentals, so he sits a row behind. Symbolism much? The sun is streaming in and the dusty rays threaten to beam him up to somewhere. he looks positively angelic. I think how lucky he is and I wonder if he knows. I never had a family that pushed me. At his age, around the time Alex was driving in this morning, I would have been passed out from another misspent night or getting up to go to work in a liquor store. Things got a lot worse as the years went on. I've been making up for that lack of push for many a year.

I realize at that moment that this is a better late then even scenario if ever there is one. I am scared and uncertain and not sure what the future holds. Just like every other nineteen year old in the room. Right on!

Sam's unsolicited advice: Do everything you can for your kids so to set them up with a good start. If you think you already have...do a little more.

December 2 - Writing. (Reverb10 Project)

December 2 - Writing.
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

I get up too damn late! I sleep like addicts boot heroin!

Kranky Sam's unsolicited advice: GET UP! You cant tell which is the right side of the bed if you never get out of it!

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To learn more about the project: http://www.reverb10.com/ 

December 1 - One Word. (Reverb10 Project)

So to get things rolling I am taking part in a blogging...um....challenge. These may not be the Krankiest blogs over the month of December and I may blog in between with Krankier things...

To learn more about Reverb10 http://www.reverb10.com/

The general idea is to sum up a year and send reverbs into the new year.

Prompt One: (I am catching up!) December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Commitment. We lost our dear Nona -   A beautiful and remarkable Maine Coon Cat. She was my constant companion. Irresponsible breeding meant we were sent home with a lovely graceful creature who left us far to soon. She had a defective heart, common to Coons but breeders should have their kitties tested for the mutation, then not breed that cat. This one did not.

Nona got sick after her spaying and her care involved ridiculous amounts of medicine 4 times every day. My SO (significant other) had to give her daily shots near the end. We were unable to travel for some time now because of the stress of boarding her and the complication of finding someone who could dose her four times a day. Besides, I wanted as much time with her as I could get.

This year was one long goodbye. Hospice. She was my heart. My friend. She taught me much about commitment and love. I miss her so.I could write pages about her, but not yet and not here.

2011 word: Aspire.

Kranky Sam's unsolicited advice: Have greed be the second priority when you run a business. Make  your living ethically. That darling kitty broke my heart and cost me THOUSANDS in health care costs. But a commitment is a commitment and a friend is a friend. She dies in her sleep pain free, saving us the decision to end things for her. She was very generous that way.

Introducing Kranky Sam

Who is Kranky Sam?

When I think of a good Samaritan I envision the neighbor how mows your lawn, rescues a stray or helps a little old lady with her groceries. Someone who contributes to the common good. I'm like that, but maybe not so nice. I have little patience with the lack of common sense and BS in the world today, thus my unsolicited advice column to strangers. Some will be local to things I see in a day, others national (USA) or even global.

Kranky Sam is more of a what than a who. The Kranky Samaritan; Kranky Sam.

Please feel free to ask for advice. I may not be as Kranky as pretend, but I will always be live and direct. We are all to old and life is to short to make our itty-bitty feelings the most important thing! None of us are gonna live forever, so let's get to it! 

- Sam